A SoHoCo Husband’s Guide To Surviving Dinner Parties
By: Cole Walters / Southern Hospitality Company
After years of hosting dinner parties with my wife, the reigning queen of Southern Hospitality, I’ve gathered some valuable insights that every husband can appreciate. These lessons aren’t just about avoiding culinary disasters or mastering table settings—they’re about navigating the delightful chaos that comes with entertaining friends and family. So, here’s what I’ve learned, complete with a touch of humor and practical advice to really help out your wife!
1. Communicate Like a Pro (Especially About the Menu)
I once thought I could contribute to the menu planning by throwing out ideas like “How about burgers?”—which, let’s be honest, is about as helpful as suggesting we host a luau in the living room. Now, I’ve learned to ask, “What do you need me to do?” instead of jumping in with my grand plans. Remember: it’s better to nod knowingly when she describes her vision of a multi-course meal than to suggest a simple sandwich platter.
2. Become the Grocery Store Ninja
Grocery shopping is where I’ve transformed from a clueless husband to a grocery store ninja. I used to wander aimlessly, like a lost puppy. Now, I stick to the list and take pride in finding the “exotic” ingredients—like that elusive saffron that I’ve learned is more valuable than gold. The meal planning notepads my wife sells make my life significantly easier when helping her plan. I review the list with my wife before leaving for the store and always call her right before checkout to see if there are any last minute additions.
Bonus tip: don’t forget to grab some wine on your way out; it works wonders for the dinner party vibe and smooths over any cooking mishaps.
3. Kitchen Duties: Find Your Niche
In the kitchen, I’ve discovered my strengths (and my limitations). Chopping vegetables? Sure! Trying to flambé something? Let’s just say the fire department is now on speed dial. I’ve learned to embrace my role as the “Ingredient Fetcher Extraordinaire.” Need a pinch of this or a dash of that? I’m your man! What I’ve learned is that my wife doesn’t want me in the way, but still wants me near. Wiping down countertops and unloading the dishwasher while she cooks is the easiest way I can support her and not let her feel so alone in the kitchen.
4. Decorating Disaster Prevention
When it comes to decorating, I’ve learned that my wife has a vision—and my job is to support it. I once suggested we skip the centerpieces to save time, which earned me a look that could curdle milk. Now, I carry boxes of decorations and follow her lead, all while pretending I can tell the difference between hydrangeas and daisies. Pro tip: If she asks for your opinion, it’s usually best to respond with something like, “Wow, that looks amazing!”
5. Small Talk Survival Techniques
Dinner parties require a solid arsenal of small talk skills. I’ve become a master at sidestepping tricky conversations. My wife has a million things running through her brain as she’s entertaining, the last thing she wants to have to do is fill awkward silences. When someone starts talking about their cat’s latest Instagram fame, I’ve learned to pivot to safer topics like the latest Netflix series or whether the local sports team has a shot at the championship. I keep a few table questions at the front of my brain in case there are ever lulls in conversation. We also have used these ‘Table Topics’ cubes and have gone around and answered them as a group. Everyone loves them!
6. Always Have a Backup Plan
Despite our best efforts, things rarely go according to plan. I’ve learned to keep a stash of frozen appetizers and emergency snacks on hand for when the roast takes longer than expected or when a guest inevitably reveals a last-minute dietary restriction. Trust me, nothing diffuses dinner party tension like a well-timed cheese platter—just make sure to avoid the blue cheese if your cousin is coming.
7. Embrace the Beautiful Chaos
After years of experience, I’ve come to appreciate that dinner parties are supposed to be a bit chaotic. Spilled drinks? Check. Kids running wild? Double check. I’ve learned to embrace the madness and even join in on the fun. A little laughter goes a long way. If things get too hectic, I might even channel my inner stand-up comedian and crack a joke about how we’re not just hosting, we’re auditioning for a reality show!
8. Celebrate the Aftermath
Once the last guest has left and the dishes are done (with plenty of help from me, of course), I’ve learned to take a moment to appreciate what we’ve accomplished. Reflecting on the laughter, the shared stories, and the epic culinary adventures reminds me why we host in the first place. A little toast to ourselves—and perhaps some leftover dessert—always helps seal the deal.
The Real Reward:
At the end of the day, I may not be the most skilled host, but I’ve learned that my role is crucial. It’s about supporting my wife and ensuring everyone feels welcome. So, whether it’s mastering the grocery list or perfecting my small talk, I’ve become a seasoned pro—at least in my own right. Here’s to many more dinner parties, laughter, and the joy of hosting alongside my amazing wife! And remember, if all else fails, just pour another glass of wine and laugh it off. Cheers!
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One response to “A SoHoCo Husband’s Guide To Surviving Dinner Parties”
This is great! I think my husband needs to read this, especially the part about not suggesting burgers for a multi-course meal. 😂 Love the practical advice, like becoming the “Ingredient Fetcher Extraordinaire” and always having a backup cheese platter. Well done!